My Day

I went to a party tonight with CC who dressed up in a fat suit. We caught the ferry then walked through Glebe. It was ok (except that the fat suit was probably a little warm) until we got to the dog track. The dogs (presumably) didn't like the suit and started barking like crazy. Or maybe it was CC's angelic face, which does fill people with murderous rage from time to time... anyway, I should probably mention at this point that I made the whole fat suit thing up. And although we did walk past the dog track, the dogs didn't bark at us. But I did go to a party.

I felt old so I left early. How do you know when you are too old for a party? There are a couple of ways. One is when the 35 year old's antics piss you off because you realise he is probably going through a mid life crisis, and the other is when the under 25 year olds' lack of antics piss you off because you realise they are too young to have developed personalities yet.

I walked home and spent my taxi money on chocolate.




(I should ruin the acerbic impact of this post to point out that I am only referring to a select few individuals, and not the entire demographic of a particular age group).

Untitled

I alluded in an earlier post to a character at work who really needs a pseudonym for this blog.The stories about him are starting to back up, but I can't settle on a name so I am holding a little poll. Please state your preferences in the comments. Additional suggestions also welcome. Thanks.


Tanty Man

Master J. Pendant, Esq.

The Eyelet

Baby Jon Burgess

Overheard in Neutral Bay:

"I am so many levels of angry with so many members of my family..."

Top 5...

... things you see in Mosman:

1. Babies

2. (purebred) Dogs

3. Bleached Blondes with jeans tucked into their boots

4. Women who look like Diane von Furstenberg

5. Couples who look like this

Peaches Mango Peaches

People ask for weird shit in bookshops. Actually, people ask for weird shit in lots of places, as my friend The Dominatrix* can certainly vouch for. But since I work in a bookshop I hear the weird shit most often there. Today, a woman asked me if we had a book called Grate's Peaches. "Grate's Peaches?" I repeated, not sure I had heard her correctly. "Yes, that's right. "Grate's Peaches" she replied. "ummmmm...." I said, waving my hand vaguely in the direction of the Art books while trying to remember where the Gardening section was.

"It's in Words and Ideas" said a co-worker for who I am yet to come up with a suitable alias. The woman looked to where he was pointing.
"Oh yes I can see it!" she marched over and I looked to where she was headed, still trying to figure out what on earth this wack sounding book was. There it was: Great Speeches.

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Apparently my blog is off limits at Bankstown library. I am loving the street cred that gives me, although I'm not sure what is objectionable about it. Perhaps the posts where I rant and rave about punctuation?


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CC - I haven't seen you for days. Adrian says "hi"


* That is actually her job, I'm not trying to use a clever name for a strict librarian or something.

The Adventures of Normal #2

The Gap Year

Averagely enough, I went traveling for a year after I finished studying. I spent most of my time in Western Europe (I know: yawn). I did not get beaten, mugged or attacked although I did get my bottom pinched by a man in Italy (also achingly typical).

The point of my The Adventures of Normal series is not to discuss anything out of the ordinary, so I won't be discussing the crazy things, like the husband and wife who tried to come on to me or the fact that there are miniature saws in Dublin supermarkets so that you don't have to pay for unwanted broccoli stalk.

I drank beer and ate chocolate in Belgium. I drank beer and ate chocolate in Germany. I drank beer and ate chocolate in a few other places too. But in Bordeaux I drank wine.

I went to some museums and shit.

That's pretty much it.

So You Think You're My Aunts?

I've come up with the best idea for a TV show called So You Think You're My Aunts? It's a Jerry Springer type scenario where someone's parentage is in question, but the whole extended family is up on stage for the drama, the intrigue, the bad hair, the missing teeth, the fisticuffs. I think what we have here is ratings gold.