I've been doing some deep thinking lately and have reached the conclusion that there are certain things in this world that I will never understand. I have complied a list:
1. Deleuze
2. Leafblowers
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Overheard in a (rival) Bookshop
Customer: Do you have, am not sure of title in English but I think it is The Prince. Do you have The Prince? Do you know it?
Sales Assistant: I don't know that one. Is it about a prince?
Customer: Yes! Is about prince!
Sales Assistant: It's about Prince?
Customer: Yes!!
Sales Assistant: If we did have a book about Prince it would be in the music section but I can tell you now we definitely don't have it because I've just been in the music section and it's not there. Sorry!
Sales Assistant: I don't know that one. Is it about a prince?
Customer: Yes! Is about prince!
Sales Assistant: It's about Prince?
Customer: Yes!!
Sales Assistant: If we did have a book about Prince it would be in the music section but I can tell you now we definitely don't have it because I've just been in the music section and it's not there. Sorry!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Doing my Bit For Society
Peter Fitz Slime-Ons, I'd just like to let you know that I strayed from professional demeanor and told a few customers yesterday how much I dislike you. To one person, I said "He's probably my least favourite person in the world". Tallboy thought this a bit extreme but as I pointed out "I haven't met Kim Jong Il so I don't really know what he's like".
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Work Schmork
Yesterday at work I got called "a very pleasant human search function". Not really sure I can add anything to that one...
I also had to fax a far flung post office twice (on behalf of someone we sent a parcel to) because they have a phone/fax line that nobody can call them on since it is always switched to fax. They only have the one line. Way to go, Australia Post! If I were chirpy enough to think of an appropriately rude and ironic award then I would bestow one on you. As it is, I am far too grumpy, bitter and down trodden to be bothered.
I suspect I may be in need of a holiday. There are always teeny, tiny little clues to working out when this is the case so perhaps we can review the evidence together and see where I'm at on the Need A Holiday Meter: Yesterday, I wrote on a piece of paper "I am sick of humanity". I also said to a colleague "I am sick of books, I am sick of people and I am sick of bookshops and I hate everything and I don't care anymore". Whatcha reckon?
I also had to fax a far flung post office twice (on behalf of someone we sent a parcel to) because they have a phone/fax line that nobody can call them on since it is always switched to fax. They only have the one line. Way to go, Australia Post! If I were chirpy enough to think of an appropriately rude and ironic award then I would bestow one on you. As it is, I am far too grumpy, bitter and down trodden to be bothered.
I suspect I may be in need of a holiday. There are always teeny, tiny little clues to working out when this is the case so perhaps we can review the evidence together and see where I'm at on the Need A Holiday Meter: Yesterday, I wrote on a piece of paper "I am sick of humanity". I also said to a colleague "I am sick of books, I am sick of people and I am sick of bookshops and I hate everything and I don't care anymore". Whatcha reckon?
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Deck The Halls
Dear Person Who Invented Industry Christmas Parties,
Thankyou!
What a truly wonderful idea. I went to one last week and had my annual 3 minute conversation with a number of people. Now I feel all virtuous, and chuffed with the knowledge that we don't need to speak again for another 12 months. Delightful!
Keep me posted on your inventions, especially if you come up with anything regarding annoying work colleagues.
Love, Felix for Zosia
Thankyou!
What a truly wonderful idea. I went to one last week and had my annual 3 minute conversation with a number of people. Now I feel all virtuous, and chuffed with the knowledge that we don't need to speak again for another 12 months. Delightful!
Keep me posted on your inventions, especially if you come up with anything regarding annoying work colleagues.
Love, Felix for Zosia
Sunday, November 20, 2011
This Just In...
Is my memory failing me, or did Whitney Houston used to be married to Australian Greens senator Bob Brown? Coz I also thought that he was gay... confused...
Friday, November 18, 2011
Sweeny Todd
The other day at work I was talking about a pub I had been to recently. In trying to give an impression of what it was like I said "from the outside it looks like somewhere where you might get stabbed, but the inside is actually quite nice". Without missing a beat, one of my colleagues said "is that Sweeneys?"
He was dead right, and the funny thing is, I still can't work out what exactly contributes to the general aura of "you-will-get-stabbed-ness. I mean, there isn't even a sign that says "No shirt, no shoes, no service" which, I find, always flags concern. I pass it on average about 4 times a week and have never seen any hideously drunk or injured people scattered on the pavement nearby, there's no 80s rock blasting from the interior, there are no bullet holes or broken windows... I guess it's just one of life's great mysteries.
He was dead right, and the funny thing is, I still can't work out what exactly contributes to the general aura of "you-will-get-stabbed-ness. I mean, there isn't even a sign that says "No shirt, no shoes, no service" which, I find, always flags concern. I pass it on average about 4 times a week and have never seen any hideously drunk or injured people scattered on the pavement nearby, there's no 80s rock blasting from the interior, there are no bullet holes or broken windows... I guess it's just one of life's great mysteries.
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