I was just in a public toilet looking at myself in the mirror and I realised that I have one ear bigger than the other. I am a mutant! For about 17 years I have been wearing earings that look lopsided because they have been hanging from ear lobes that are at different heights due to the disproportionate size of my ears. I can't believe that NOBODY TOLD ME!!! I vow to spend the rest of my life tilting my head ever so slightly to the right in the hope that it evens things up a bit.
My sense of self has been so shaken that I'm off to write some bleak, stark existential poetry and drink some absinthe.
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2 comments:
No one told you about your ears because they didn't notice.
I have a goiter. On my face. It is so large I have to buy it a tram ticket. Everyone has noticed.
eeuggghhhh. Do you also have a chip pocket for it?
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