Saturday, December 5, 2009

Handy Hint For Paul Wilson

Hi Paul, you seem exactly like the type of guy who would google himself on a weekly basis so I have high hopes that you will stumble upon this blog and although I will have to forgo anonymity I think the sacrifice will be well worth it. First of all, I should clarify here that the Paul Wilson I am talking about is the author of that famous tract "The Little Book of Calm" (as featured in the first episode of Black Books when Manny accidently swallows one).

Paul, when you are in a shop, it really isn't necessary to try to impress the people who work there. Even if you are in a shop that sells a product you create, like if you are an author who finds himself in a bookshop. Generally, people in retail are not that interested in their customers (A good rule of thumb to remember is that people in the service industries are paid to be nice to you. This should clear up a lot of things).

Beyond the fact that I was already pre-disposed to not being all that interested or impressed by you (see above), your attempt was really, really abysmal. Asking me if Bryce Courtenay has a new book out only so that you can then drop into the conversation "oh, he didn't invite me to his launch. I wonder why that was" was very clumsy of you. Obviously, Bryce Courtenay thinks you are a nob of no consequence which is why he didn't invite you to his latest book launch. Name dropping authors is kind of a waste of time with booksellers, and when you name drop and then proceed to reveal that you actually barely know one another is... well... in the words of that famous philosopher, Shania Twain, "that don't impress me much".


Nerd Girl said...

Thumbs up to him though, for name dropping someone who openly rejected him. That takes guts.

Naomi said...


Felix for Zosia said...

Thanks kids!