Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Don’t Press Send

Tallboy and I are moving house. There are several contributing factors that led to this decision but the main one was that the landlord has ended our lease. So we went house-hunting last week and found a total gem of an apartment that we applied for on the spot. I even got my driver's license out (but covered up the photo so we didn't scare our prospective landlady to death). During the agonising 2 day waiting period to find out whether or not our application was successful I wrote the landlady several emails. Luckily, I didn't send any of them:

Dear Di,
Just wanted to let you know how great it was to see the apartment and to meet you. You are awesome! Tallboy and I are very responsible people, to the point of being sad, boring old farts. For example, we quite like to drink tonic water without the gin. We also like to go on walking tours, and to discuss formatting, fonts and punctuation late into the night (sometimes even until 10pm!!!). As I said, it was really great to meet you, Felix

Dear Di,
Just thought I'd drop you a line to let you know that I have been thinking about the apartment and any improvements that could be made on it. And... there aren't any!! It's perfect!!!!
Good luck choosing an awesome tenant for it and let me know if I can help in ANY way at all! Thanks, Felix

Dear Di,
It was sooo great to meet you when we went to see your apartment that I can't stop thinking about it. Tallboy and I have been discussing it and we have concluded that our love for your apartment is greater by far than our love for each other. So it would be a little bit like destiny and a lot like awesome perfection if we moved into it so we could complete the circle of love. I hope this doesn't sound crazy or anything but I honestly believe that if buildings can have feelings then yours has feelings for me and Tallboy. Strong feelings. Romantic feelings. Please Rent Me feelings (don't take that the wrong way). Have a great day, Felix

Hey Di,
You know something? I think one syllable names are so cool. And yours in particular really suits you. You seem like the coolest person I have ever met, and I have met quite a few, even though I am so boring and responsible.
Anyway, it was great to meet you. I loved how you opened the door for us; it was a lovely touch. Look forward to hearing from you soon - but don't rush or anything - I know being fabulous takes up lots of time so whenever you're ready. Thanks again for your time, Felix xoxo

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