Dear Monash University Hargrave-Andrew Library,
Please consider the following feedback on your job ad for a Serials and Reserve Officer (part time)
- I highly doubt that the successful applicant will actually be working in a “dynamic” team. It is a library for Germain’s sake, one of the few workplaces where being dynamic would be more of a drawback than an asset, unless you have developed the first library-cum-cabaret-stage space in Australia, in which case I can kind of see your point.
- “Monash is a dynamic university”. Please – you’re writing this from a library – get a goddamn thesaurus and find another adjective!
- “As the Serials and Reserves Officer you will be responsible for supervising the activities of others working with serials at Hargrave-Andrews Library and for liasing with staff in other locations.” Soooo… you want someone to watch other people work and to gossip with other librarians? Sounds like a sweet deal, but not especially dynamic.
- “You will also be part of the Lending Services team and contribute to lending services, including rostered service point shifts and creating electronic reading lists.” I guess that although “rostered service point shifts” sounds to me like a car part, it is probably something librarian-y. It’s probably fairly un-dynamic too. As for creating electronic reading lists, that sounds like what I do with iTunes but using books instead of songs. I can do that! Look:
SOCIAL STATUS AND SOCIAL ISSUES IN 19th CENTURY LITERATURE
- Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
- The Pickwick Papers – Charles Dickens
- Little Women - Lousia May Alcott
- The Talented Tenth – W.E.B De Bois
- And finally: “To be successful you will have… the ability to work as part of a team or independently” What? You mean either ability will do? Well, I must say that’s pretty flexible. As far as I am concerned I can definitely do either of those things. I generally decide on the day which one it is I feel like. Would that be ok?
So I guess you can consider this my dynamic application for the job. And by the way, I have been sipping a cup of tea while writing this so let's put "ability to multitask" down on my attributes list as well, shall we?
Thanks, love from Felix