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- Vegetables.
There are lots of them and they taste delicious. Sometimes, you can eat
them WITHOUT MEAT!
- Musicals.
They are awesome. It might
seem like a ridiculous idea to make a movie that is full of people jumping
up and dancing about the place while singing songs at you but, let’s face
it, it is no less ridiculous than a movie with Will Smith and lots of
bombs and car chases in it. In fact, try to imagine a car chase scene
every time there is a song and you will find watching the movie an
enjoyable and entertaining experience. It won’t make any difference to
your understanding of the plot, either.
- Clothes.
One always needs more. It is
quite complicated to explain exactly why this is, and there are probably
loads of fancy sounding theories written up by people who have above
average intelligence, no social skills, and personal lives that are about
as much fun as watching dust accumulate, since they spend all their time
examining society instead of participating in it, but let’s skip the
detail and put it under the category of Mysterious But Important.
- Cheese.
How did that get on the list? Everybody loves cheese!
- High
Heels, Makeup and Other Time Consuming and/or Painful Looking Feminine
Miscellany. Women just do that shit because other women do it and they
don’t want to be told they look weird/fat/butch/ugly etc.
- Weddings.
It’s all about being the centre of attention in a huge dress. If anyone
can come up with a different way to make this happen for a woman she’ll
probably be perfectly content. Especially if the event also involves one
or more people crying with happiness.
- Crying
With Happiness. Hmmm. This requires some thought. Please check back in a
week (let’s be honest, I am never going to get around to figuring this
out. If you come with a good answer then drop me a line and if it is funny,
punchy and clever sounding I will write it up and claim it was my idea all
along. Sound good?)
