I was so inspired by everyone's responses to my confession story that I would like to continue the religious theme and tell the tale of Actor Boy, who I used to work with in a bookshop. The bookshop was (and still is) run by a couple of very left-wing broad minded non-religious types. We stocked the Bible, but were always running out of copies because KI (the buyer) couldn't get her head around the fact that anyone would ever contemplate buying one, so she never re-ordered it.
One day, when our shop was Bible-less, a customer came in and asked AB if we had a copy of the Bible.
AB stepped out from behind the counter and went to the religion shelf to have a look. He pulled a book from the shelf while saying "No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid we don't. But we do have something else by the same author". He triumphantly handed a copy of the Koran to the horrified customer.