Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tag Hag

Okely dokely... here are five things about me (just read the bold if you're pressed for time):
1. The most interesting thing about me is that I was once diagnosed with boredom.
I was working in a cd shop at the time, and among other things, discovered that it is possible to literally be bored to tears. It was pretty hideous, so I bought a one way ticket to find myself and...

2. I found myself in Tasmania.
I spent two months walking a dog, reading books and going to at least one different cafe or pub every day.

3. I once saw a man get arrested by the fashion police.
He was standing next to a group of police officers and tried to slink off a board and bus when they dashed after him. The only crime he appeared to be committing as far as I could see was that he was wearing dirty trackie dacks and a flannie with holes in it. So I assume that is what he was being arrested for.

4. My view on Nudist beaches is - I can't think of anything worse... except paintballing
That says it all really.

5. I used to lie in confession.
I had two lies that I told every time. Well, they were stretches of the truth I suppose. The first was when you were supposed to say to the priest "it's been ___ days/weeks/whatever since my last confession". I never knew how long it had been but it always felt like ages (and in kid time it had been) so I would always say "it's been... um... a while since my last confession" because I though the priest would get cross that I hadn't been often enough. The second lie was when you had to confess something. Most 10 year olds don't know how to sin, and I was no exception. I could never think of anything I'd done, so I always said "I've been mean to my sister" because I figured that even if I couldn't remember a specific incident, I probably had been at some stage.

17 comments:

davey said...

Man. Moses was really stretching it when he included 'thou shalt not malign thy sisters mood' in his list of commandments.

red said...

I said the exact same two lies in confession too.

Rosie said...

#5 is common to me also, reminding me of the mortifyingly obedient child that i was. cheers for the inspiration!

Femikneesm said...

Hmm...paintballing vs nudist beaches....I don't know which is worse....

The Arian Dalliancer said...

I used to lie in confession, and my lie was that I had lied... Which I guess made it into a truth; but I specified who I lied to, and never included the priest. So it was only a half truth. Or maybe a half lie. Not sure.

Felix for Zosia said...

D - yeah, that's the little known 47th commandment if I recall, right after Thou Shalt Not Drink Instant Coffee
R + R - so much Catholic upbringing angst - I had no idea!
F - I admit, it's pretty close for me. But they both make me think the same thing: why? I cannot fathom any possible enjoyment from either.
AD - I like it!

Nerd Girl said...

I remember sitting in my first confession for what must have been a full minute and then telling the priest (with some embarrassment) that I couldn't think of anything.

Felix for Zosia said...

You make me larf!

Jayne said...

I'd quite like to run riot with a paintball gun on a nudist beach though...

Rosie said...

@ Jayne - best idea ever.

emordino said...

@ Nerd Girl: I always panicked for the whole day beforehand trying to think of something. On one memorable occasion I had myself sorted, but once I got in and said the whole bless-me-father rigmarole, I completely blanked. I ended up asking him to hold on for a minute, then 30 seconds later blurting out "Oh yeah! I used bad language."

Felix for Zosia said...

Ok, the paintball thing... if I were the only one with the gun I guess it would be ok. And the beach thing - clearly you would have to follow OH&S protocol and wear protective gear, so you wouldn't be naked. But maybe instead of paint, the gun could shoot out underwear?

And E (can i call you emo for short?) - brilliant. In fact all you non sinners (and AD the cunning self-reflexive sinner): say three hail marys and an our father.

Cléa said...

A group of us at school used to make up the same sins for confession. Then the nuns found out somehow and they put a stop to weekly confession. And I thought priests swore to secrecy.

Nerd Girl said...

"OW! Those paintball-thingies hurt!"

Felix for Zosia said...

C - that's a bit unfair. Isn't sharing supposed to be a nice thing to do?
N - "Oh and by the way Marge, I was being sarcastic!"

The Blakkat said...

Geez, I'm glad I wasn't brought up Catholic. That confession stuff is OTT.

You're a funny bugger but, Felix.

Felix for Zosia said...

Hey thanks B. Thanks for dropping in too.