Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Arrest That Woman!

Some people should not be allowed to dress themselves. I think the argument for a nanny state really comes into its own where fashion (or should I say "fashion"?) is concerned. Clearly, some people are not capable of making sensible choices on their own. I was walking to work the other day and almost yelled out "Oh Jesus, Mary and JOSEPH that is HIDEOUS!!!" to the apparition walking towards me on George St. Luckily for her, my internal monologue was in top form. What was she wearing? Well, I'm glad you asked. It was a 2 piece suit in tiny black and white checks. The pattern itself was ok but there was way too much of it. It wasn't completely hideous but it made the most of all the wrong parts of her anatomy - for example her enormous camel toe.

I found myself thinking that they shouldn't be allowed to sell such crap, but that the problem was really in the combination of garments rather than the garments themselves, as well as the fact that she was wearing the wrong size. There is no legislation against wearing the wrong clothes but just imagine a world where there were. There would be no more skinny jeans on fat people, no more mumble pants*, no more socks and sandals and no more Harry Highpants OR Larry Lowpants.





*Leggings. You can se the lips moving but you can't hear the words.

7 comments:

Lost Soul said...

OMG ~ Mumble pants!! That is hysterical. I hope your eyes have sufficiently recovered!

Nerd Girl said...

I heard a wonderful quote the other day: "Wear your pants as high as your hopes"

Felix for Zosia said...

LS - Some things are always wrong - like Mumble Pants. There is NO excuse.
NG - I hope you don't really mean that. Marvin Middle is the way to go.

Rosie said...

LOL at the lot of it - mumbles, high hopes, marvin middles. brilliant.

Incessant Ramblings of a 20 Something Cindra... said...

Oh, tell me about it. The fashion woes I have to deal with day in and day out in Newcastle.
I went to a festival last weekend, and this girl was wearing a Bandaid (read:boob-tube style dress so short and so tight it was practically as big as a band-aid) in this hideous red/black/beige colour scheme and trying to jump on a jumping castle...

Femikneesm said...

Yesterday, I saw a woman wearing skinny jeans and a jumper. I am not a fan of skinny jeans, but in this case it was the jumper. It was beige (never an inspiring colour) but it was decorated by a massive ribbon/bow motif. The ribbon/bow was made of large silver sequins. Sequins. You're right, there should be a law.

Felix for Zosia said...

Cindy and Fem: I have no words.