The Only Chef In The Village

I now work in a very different village from the one where I worked with The Only Gay in The Village but we have a resident Only. He is a chef or - in his words - "a CHEFFFF!!"

He is a regular (or should that be irregular ?) customer. He only ever buys cooking books, and never loses an opportunity to drop into the conversation something about his profession and how subsequently superior that makes him. A typical response to a relatively inane comment from me about cooking something from the book he has just bought goes a bit like this: "I'm a CHEFFF. It's what I DO. See? I COOK for a LIVING."

I happen to know that he is only a CHEFFF in the local PUB which is not really all that GLAM. I know he thinks I am SCHTUPID because I am not a CHEFF. Poor little dear.