Please Note

I have not read the following books:
1. Shantaram (life is too short to be reading 933 pages of quasi-biographical fiction-esque pap*)
2. the Stieg Larsson triology
3. Harry Potter (there are movies after all)
4. The Secret (the real secret is that she only wrote the book to make money, not to help you)
5. The Alchemist (A "fable about following your dreams". I am allergic to fables; they give me a temperature and an unsightly rash)

I have no desire whatsoever to read these books. If you reccommend any of the above for my reading pleasure I will lose the small amount of respect I had for you to begin with. I may even fart in your general direction.

At a rough guess, I would estimate about 100 people have bought a Stieg Larsson book from me while saying breathlessly "you HAVE to read them!!!". If any of you are reading this I say to you "No I don't. Piss off and let me stare aimlessly at the wall in peace while thinking about recipes that include potato and cheese".

*yes, I am writing this at work and yes, I got up and walked over to the shelf to check how many pages are in that book.