Friday, March 7, 2008

Off Her Trolley

I have this colleague. It is pretty well understood that she is not quite normal, but I always thought she was perhaps just very shy, and therefore a bit of a loner, and therefore a little bit strange in company but nothing more than odd yet harmless. It has come to my attention that she is not just odd, but in fact completely in-her-own-world-bonkers.

She recently arrived back in the country for some work, and went straight from the airport (East) to our uni (North West) with all her luggage, to use a computer in the postgrad room. Why she couldn't find an internet cafe is something only she knows the answer to. I first thought this was a little giggle story, but I now realise it was the warning clarion announcing the traveling freakshow to come.

I am a little unclear on exact dates and details, but apparently she currently has all her belongings in a shopping trolley in the postgrad room. Why? Well, because she has been sleeping there for the past three days.

I think we can all agree that this is beyond odd, and in a completely new category. There are several things that make this utterly creepy in its level of bizarreness.

1. When I say "postgrad" room, I am not talking about one of those common room deals with armchairs or a couch. There are desk chairs and desks and filing cabinets.
2. Perhaps I am being unfairly picky, but she isn't a postgrad anymore, so technically shouldn't be using the room for anything, let alone a bedroom.
3. It's a shopping trolley.

I talked this over with Juicebar, who offered some excellent tips on squatting, none of which she seems to be aware of (not only is this strange behaviour, this is strange squatting behaviour):

a. There should be a certain amount of non shopping trolleyness
b. Find something disused or under construction, that is frequented by other squatters
c. You dress like you don't belong there so people don't attack you
d. Don't share the alcohol on offer, BYO beer
e. Brick yourself in for the night

Question: Is she a suitable nemesis for me, or is "Looney" not an adequate category? Please share your thoughts.


Juice Bar said...

"When you see crazy coming, cross the road."

I think this applies to nemesis-selection, too. I find the best nemeses are generally a mixture of competitive, slightly dull and socially inept. But they shouldn't be in the habit of trundling shopping trolleys into ex-workplaces for some kip.

Can I just say that you can never have enough byo beer, bricks and 1987-era free t-shirts from a personal loan company.

Felix for Zosia said...

Ok, so the nemesis status is a no. I can totally live with that.