On Sundays, it is my job to produce a bestseller list from the previous week's sales at work. I thought I could employ some timesaving nous and I have come up with a long-term bestseller list that will serve for many weeks without having to be changed. This will give me more time to stare at the walls and think about shoe grip, chocolate body paint, Britney Spears' devolution into craziness, and other similarly important things. I had the help of a fellow staff member*, who suggested the categories to replace the more usual Fiction/Non-Fiction binary. Here it is, the Almost Perpetual Bestseller List:
METAPHORICAL
1. The Art of Hornet's Nests - Dalai Larsson
2. The Girl With The Happiness Tattoo - Dalai Larsson
3. 1001 Coming of Age Stories to Read Before You Die - Various
4. The Girl With The "Free Tibet" Tattoo - Dalai Larsson
5. Mastering The Art of French Cussing - Naughty Child
NON-METAPHORICAL
1. Eat, Prey, Leave - Hannibal Lecter
2. Apples, Acne and Cholera - Alexander Marquez Smith
3. He's Just Not That Into You (Or Your Desire For An Equal, Adult and Mutually Fulfilling Relationship) - Hugh Hefner
4. The Satanic Fishes - Salmon Rushdie
5. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff: Use Deoderant! - Patrick Suskind
*But obviously all the really funny ones are mine.
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