Monday, May 26, 2008

Talking Shit

I went to a party on the weekend and got trapped in conversation with possibly the most boring person in the room. Although to be fair, that is quite hard to judge, since I wasn't able to talk to many other people there. The most interesting part of the conversation was due to a misunderstanding (always a bad sign) and things went downhill fast once the mistake was cleared up.

Me: So, what do you do [yes, things were already desperate. We had tried "how do you know so-and-so" as possible conversation fodder and found it went nowhere]

Boring Person: I'm a Shit Roker.

Me: I'm sorry???!!?

BP: [slightly more emphatically] a Shit Broker

Me: Oh... Right. So... um,so... do you enjoy it?

This type of conversation is pretty tedious even when you know what job it is that you are actually discussing, but when you have no idea it is horrendous. How do you string along the conversation? I don't know why it is that I attract like a magnet the sort of person who makes me do all the work in a conversation, but I guess I did something terrible in a past life or something. I racked my brains for leading questions "is it messy?" "Do you find the smell a problem?" But in the end settled for "So how did you get into that?". This resulted, unsurprisingly, in a dull as dishwater discussion.

It turns out that she is actually a Ship Broker, but I still didn't really know what that entails and when I found out I realised that I didn't care.

The next day, I had a hangover. If you want an idea of what it felt like, then listen to Germany's entry for Eurovision from the weekend (I'd link it, but I'm not that cruel).


Juice Bar said...

You should have asked her what her job as a shit broker entrailed.

Felix for Zosia said...

I was too busy trying to keep the panicked boredom from my eyes to think of something so clever.

Rosie said...

why try? i find that looking distracted, nodding at inappropriate moments and then eventually just wandering off mid sentence is a much better tactic for dealing with bores.

red said...

A friend of mine's Mum told us once that if you're the most interesting person at a party it's time to leave the party. I don't think she was being nasty about our personalities or anything. At least I hope not. I still use it as a gauge of a good party now.

Felix for Zosia said...

Ladies, I like both suggestions, and will keep them in mind for the future. The problem was actually that I had to find a way to rescue Juice Bar as well as myself because every time I attempted to leave she started talking to him.

Nerd Girl said...

Red - I like the way your mum thinks, I'll be keeping this in mind and all future events of the partying kind.

Zosia - I'd like to offer advice in the form of a sbemail toon:

Felix for Zosia said...

Nerd: that was great! I often use method 1 to avoid those Greenpeace people with clipboards but never thought it would work indoors as well.

Cléa said...

Too funny. Like when someone tells me they're an investment banker. I can't help but hear wanker.

Felix for Zosia said...

cléa - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!