Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Tales From The PG Room

As mentioned previously, there are several oddball characters in my life that I cannot avoid having to deal with from time to time. Shopping Trolley Lady is really getting on my nerves. The trolley is long gone, but my contempt for her isn't. Today I was attempting to have a personal and private crisis as I anxiously awaited my review. I wasn't bothering anyone, I was quietly rocking back and forth in panic in an out-of-the-way corner of the room. I wasn't asking for attention, and I certainly wasn't interested in giving anyone else attention either. Alas, it was not to be.

Shopping Trolley Lady is one of those people who makes you do all the work in a conversation. She is always trying to get conversations started, probably because she doesn't have very many because people get tired of the effort once they realise the single talking point (shopping trolleys for instance) has worn thin. So there I am, rocking back and forth in the foetal position, and there she is, muttering and exclaiming to herself as she reads her emails. "Oh no!!" "Tut, tut. That is unbelievable". "That woman can't do anything for herself!". It is excruciating. You eventually give in and end up saying "What is it?" and then suddenly you are stuck in conversation with her. This week it was something about essays. Last week the family cat had been run over. The only thing these two pieces of conversational material have in common is that I couldn't give rat's left bollock about either one of them.

EDIT: WEDNESDAY 9.30AM: I'm back at uni again and, out of nowhere, she has just uttered "Yep. I really want to feel more manly".

10 comments:

Jacob said...

'Rat's left bollock' - I'm stealing that.

red said...

OOh I have a colleague that does something similar. He arrives at work huffing and puffing then makes loud yawning noises. Eventually he goes on line and guffaws at whatever he's reading. Waiting desperately for one of us to say something more than 'hello' to him. But we don't. We've made a pact never to ask him "What is it?"

Felix for Zosia said...

Jacob - please do. But I have to be honest and tell you that I stole it from The Young Ones.

Red - It's tragic, isn't it? I held out as long as I could today. Tell me something: does ignoring it make it go away? It might help me to hold out if I know I can make it stop.

red said...

Unfortunately no. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away...

Felix for Zosia said...

Damn.

Femikneesm said...

I think I may not have been able re resist asking for information re the "more manly" comment...

Nerd Girl said...

Ah, the Young Ones, still consistently funny and appropriate for today's audiences. (No matter what Arian says)

Felix for Zosia said...

Fem - I know, I couldn't not write that down- it was just too weird! But I think it was probably in response to spam. I think by writing it I was able to quash the desire to ask any questions.

N - now that you mention it, It might have been 'Bottom' and not 'The Young Ones'. But does it really matter? Do we, as one says, give a rat's left bollock?

Juice Bar said...

My money is on Shopping Trolley Lady attempting to manufacture an interesting life/conversation out of responses to viagra/nigeria spam, ie:

Spam: "WANT TO BE A REAL MAN? FILL HER UP WITH THIS AMAZING 5 METRE P*NIS ENHANCER PUMP!"

Shopping Trolley Girl: "Yep, I want to feel more manly."

Check to see if she ever rummages for a credit card after making a random statement.

Felix for Zosia said...

JB - I just wish she would brick herself in for the night, and then oversleep a bit.