Yes kids, I'm sorry but I'm afraid it's true. For a while I thought I was safe from this peril because I don't have a beard and I don't wear my pants ever so slightly rolled up at the cuff but the evidence has been accruing at an alarming rate. Judge for yourselves:
1. I have an iPhone.
2. When I write "iPhone" I make sure to spell it with a small i and capital P
3. Much like Romy (or Michele) from the cinematic classic Romy and Michele's High School Reunion was "familiar with the entire Versace Line", I am familiar with the entire Apple line.
4. I own and listen to music by both Gillian Welch and Miles Davis.
5. I drink a lot of boutique tea and "good" coffee.
6. I live in Potts Point.
These things taken individually may only imply mild hipster tendencies; two or three together might still leave room for reform. Unfortunately, I crossed the line today and there really is no going back:
7. I have just ordered a new pair of glasses. The frames are made of acetate and cut with laser to look like wood.
If I wasn't so goddamn excited about my new purchase I would weep for what I have become. From now on, (whether or not I wear tan coloured brogues without socks, or weird, ugly, 80s-esque baggy clothes) I will be branded as a hipster like a deer is marked as prey by a hunter.