Waiting For Godot...in Lane Cove

I was having a very pleasant lunch in Lane Cove the other day, sitting on a bench minding my own business when a family togetherness excursion/let grandpa out of the nursing home for an hour or so pity drive descended, and decided to sit next to me. I didn't look too closely but I think it was mum, grandpa and adult child. The entire conversation (such that it was) was carried out between the two women so either gramps had given up talking when he lost his final tooth, or he knew from experience that participation in the conversation was pointless, because it was soooo inane.
My favourite bit was when the topic moved to fake grass (we were sitting near some). It went something like this:
Adult child: you'd think the birds would poo on the fake grass, wouldn't you? but they don't!
Mum:mmm
AC: Apparently fake grass is all the rage with retirees at the moment. They fill their ENTIRE homes with it, and then they don't have to mow it or anything.
M: Really?
AC: And it's always green...
M: Well, i suppose with the water restrictions these days it's a good idea.
AC: A lady at my work has it and she says its great. her dog poos on it, and she just cleans it right up.

At this point I got up and pooed on the fake grass.