Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Postcard From The Land of Burgers and Bobby Brown

It might surprise some of my regular readers to learn that I have been accused of laziness on more than one occasion. I fear this is another such occasion. Rather than write a blog post myself, I am just cutting and pasting an email I got from CC the other day. I couldn't even be bothered editing any of it, except for potentially incriminating names, so just sit back and pretend you are reading an email from someone you know and love. I suggest you make up your own name for CC in order to personalise the experience. For example: Computer Cat, Corpus Christi, Coco Chanel, Colin Carpenter. (These are just a few examples totally off the top of my head). So here it is:

Dear [insert own name],

>>The US is HOT in both its sexy landscape and blistering sun. Good thing food is like half the price here and petrol is so cheap (I rub it on my body to cool down). I'm doing a lot of work in my dad's office, its like we work together but have no idea what the other one is saying.
>> ME: Hey dad, is a tritone the same as a diminished fifth or does it depend on the underlying tonality?
>> DAD: I don't think a 10,000 pound I-beam is going to support a weighted load in the tropics.
>> MOM: Do you boys like carrots on your salad?
>> ME: (at same time) Yes!
>> DAD: (at same time) No!
>> NIECE: Can I have my salad with no lettuce and just bacon toppings?
>> ME: Like, you just want a side of bacon instead?
>> MOM: Of course dear.
>> DAD: CC, did you go to highschool with Geoff G---?
>> ME: Yeah.
>> DAD: I just fired him.
>> MOM: Have you seen Mad Hot Ballroom?

In answer to that final question Mrs C: yes, I have seen it twice.

In other news:
- one of the best shows on TV, like, EVER - The Farmer Wants A Scrag - is back for a second season and I need to share details about it but that will have to wait until I am feeling less lazy.
-WYD concerts are set to continue all week long and since I don't want to listen to Guy Sebastian read from the bible and talk about Jesus any more this week I am decamping to stay with AD and JB for a few days.


Jo said...

I've got it - let's marry off farmers to pilgrims. They can have unprotected sex and pray for rain.

Felix for Zosia said...

Jo, you are a frigging genius! If there's anyone who deserves a motorcade through the city today it's you.

Juice Bar said...

I could eat some bacon salad.

amberjee said...

My gran used to hide bacon in my vegetarian soup. It's just a little bit dear.

Felix for Zosia said...

JB - Ambi's gran will make you a salad.