Friday, March 27, 2009

Bilingual Jane

I went to a fantastic dinner party the other night. I have discussed on the blog before my antisocial habit of writing down funny things that people say. I really do try to keep it to a minimum but Bilingual Jane was so funny that I cracked and in the end had to keep pen and paper at my elbow for the entire evening. (An aside: you were probably too drunk to remember this Jane, but you specifically requested that you be called Bilingual Jane and so you shall be, on this blog at least).

Here are some words of wisdom from the mouth of Bilingual Jane:

(on rude scrabble) This is like a dream come true. Phonetics! Genitalia!

(on her work situation) Either I’m going to become a male and regress in years, or I’m going to become a nutcase. I don’t like either of those options.

(on our dinner) The chicken is like sex in my mouth and there’s nooooo balsamic in sex.

And I will end with the final 2 comments on the paper from the evening. They are in my handwriting but I don’t remember writing them. I am also not entirely sure who said them or quite what they mean but that has never stopped me repeating myself before so here goes:
“Wild swamp anal dick?”
“That must be a sexual one”

Next up in the funny-things-people-say-at-dinner-parties series will be Lingual Alison, but I wrote those ones on post-it notes so they are floating around somewhere in my bedroom..

6 comments:

i.hate.my.name said...

I do this on the bus, but it is things that people are doing not saying.

Public transport is a breeding ground for unusual behaviours, which isn't great since I am a public transport user and I don't really need to get any weirder.

Felix for Zosia said...

My big issue with PT is the people who smell funny. If they smell normal and do funny things it's usually bearable in my book.

Jacob said...

Public transport is so good for people watching.

There's this intellectually disabled guy who regularly rides on the train when I do. He draws attention to himself by reciting this weird monologue that goes something like this:

Booop! It's going to be a fine day, mostly sunny, mostly fine, sunny day. Booop!

Over and over again.

I'll probably go to hell for this, but I love seeing the reactions of people who are surprised by his sudden outbursts.

Felix for Zosia said...

Jacob, do you ever catch the 203? There is a man with Tourette's who lives on the corner of Hilda Tce and Cross Rd. I think you would probably enjoy yourself... and since you're going to hell anyway you might as well enjoy your life first!

Nerd Girl said...

I hate to bring the world crashing down around you, Zosia. But the 203 is no longer the 203 - it's the 200 now.

Felix for Zosia said...

What???? I can't deal with such crazy life threatening change. I am going to go and sip a cup of tea in the foetal position. I can't believe you couldn't break that to me more gently, you callous rapscallion.