Somebody Should Invent...

SOMEBODY SHOULD INVENT: clear wine casks. I don’t mean just the bladder bit, but the cardboard box bit too. When I am drinking from a bottle* I can measure how much I have had in one evening quite simply (ie: bottle is empty = time to stop). But with a cask there is this whole element of mystery. I have no idea how much I have drunk. The best I could do was pick up the cask and think to myself ** “ Feels heavy. I can’t have drunk too much”. It’s a fairly rudimentary measuring system and I’m not sure how accurate it is. But what has been troubling me (only a little teeny bit if I am honest) is that it is a sort of upscale cask (sounds oxymoronic but just trust me on this one), so I wonder if it feels heavy because they used premium cardboard with an expensive, thick finish on it, and that is why it feels heavy? If the cask was see-through with little lines on it like a measuring cup then all this angst would be avoided. Once again, measuring what you have drunk would become a simple matter: “I can no longer read the label telling me what this is that I have been drinking, nor see the lines on the side of the ingeniously clear cask walls that are supposed to mark 500mL increments = time to stop”.

*Obviously, what I mean here is not drinking directly from the bottle, but pouring from a bottle into a glass… unless I am in a park and the bottle is in a paper bag. I am all class.

**Ok, I might have said it out aloud to myself rather than think it, but I was the only one at home so nobody would hear me talking to myself… I’m just trying to make myself sound crazy in a cute, off-beat kind of way rather than an “if-you-see-crazy-coming,-cross-the-street kind of way). It’s all so complicated. But I wouldn’t expect you to understand.