It's official - I think I'm hilarious. I am the only person among my swirls and eddies of friends and acquaintances (to my knowledge) who grabs a pen and writes down something someone said that I think is funny. The other day I found a beer coaster with this little nugget on it; I think it's a couple of years old:
Just because you have a crooked cleavage doesn't mean you're interesting
Yes, Flo, I was talking about you. Your parents might have given you a boob job to celebrate your sensational year 12 results, which were good enough to get you into Law, but the new boobs were far from sensational. Your cleavage is CROOKED. I do admire the fact that you shamelessly show your baps off with aplomb anyway, despite the fact that they look like crap*, but, just for the record, I'd rather not have to speak to you. This has nothing to do with the fact that you have crooked boobs, and more to do with the fact that you are boring, and have an irritating voice.
*Bap and crap rhyme, so this must be true.