Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The PhD Wants A Husband

I have a great idea for a new reality TV show - it will be to find me a husband, because I have decided that is what I really want. I might wait to see if someone gives me one for Christmas, then it'll be full steam ahead meetings with Endemol. It will be great because it's that whole rags to riches thing. So far I have the promo pretty much designed. I will be standing in my apartment with a big glass of wine in hand, and sweep my arms across the view from the window while saying "Take me away from all this!" dramatically yet quite sexily. This will work well because it will show the viewers at home how terrible my single life is, because I have...oh yeah, a fabulous $3 million dollar view of the harbour... hmmm maybe this needs some fine tuning.

Well maybe instead of being in front of the harbour, I could be sitting in a pub with all my fabulous friends... er, but that's kind of cool too...maybe sitting in the SUN with...

It is actually much harder than I thought to make my life look really miserable and desperate. But I know that it must be, because I don't have a husband, see? I did have a Cinderella moment this morning where I washed the floor, but that was only because I got a bit silly last night and poured a big glass of wine which I subsequenty decided I was too drunk to drink so put the glass in the fridge door. A good idea until somone (me) actually OPENED the fridge door...

I may have to resort to using black and white film, and Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings in the background to make even my smiles look somehow mournful.


Juice Bar said...

Let this be a lesson to you: you are never too drunk for the next glass of wine.

Could you go for an alcoholism angle? Splice the shots of you "having fun" (filling emotional void with drink) of glasses of wine falling out of fridge, vodka sloshing out of a tumbler, implying that you aren't actually relaxing in the sun, you are passing out. Borrow the dude that does the Today Tonight editing, and get him to bring the "doom" music.

You need a husband to hide your drinking habit from, as you spend your days darning your apron and baking souffles.

Felix for Zosia said...

Thankyou, I think I have learnt my lesson.

Now that you mention Today Tonight, maybe some of those red letters stamped across the screen with a heavy sounding thud could help with the atmos. You know the type of thing: "DRUNK" "DESPERATE" "PLEASE USE THE CORRECT REFERENCING SYSTEM"

karla said...

I think that the idea has import potential. But you will need to edit the spelling of the red letters if it goes to NZ:
"DRUNK" translates fine, but it will have to say "DISPERETE" "PLISE EUSE THE CORRUCT RIFERINCING SUSTUM"