Monday, February 4, 2008

A New Kind of Dickhead

I am upset at the poor quality of daytime television currently available. I just watched a minute of a handy-home-hints style malarky, and the handy tip was for if you are ever in the middle of washing your face, and realise you have forgotten a scrunchie to tie back your hair. Now, I'm sorry, but I would think that the hair getting in your way might possibly be a rather large reminder that you need something to tie it back with, and I can't imagine that you wouldn't notice that before you get your hands wet, but that's just me. So, in the unlikely event that you are merrily washing your face, and are suddenly astounded with that pesky hair getting in your way, and you realise you have forgotten to bring a hair tie to the bathroom, the fabulous tip of the day is - use your underpants! Oh my god, what a brilliant idea!

Several disturbing questions are raised by this, but I'm not going to spell any of them out.


Juice Bar said...

I just tried to tie my hair back with my underpants. This resulted in a failure to tie my hair back, even the straggly mullet-esque bits, and also each of the following:

- I banged my head on the doorway because I couldn't see out of my underpants
- My neighbour thinks I am odd (note to self: next time you tie your hair back with your underpants, don't do it in the backyard with the Great Unwashed to the north and south)
- I now can't put my underwear back on, because they have been near my hair (OMG, so gross, greasy head hair, ew) so might have to put on Tuesday, which will make my 7 days in Rio stretch out a whole extra day, and totally muck up my body clock

Felix for Zosia said...

Juicebar, the most troubling thing about this is that your experience is just the tip of the iceberg.

Although a tip re your first point - I know someone whose young son likes to put underpants on his head when dressing up as a superhero, and he uses the leg holes as eye holes. We can learn so much from children, can't we?

Cléa said...

Oh...kay... so you're washing you face, hair gets in the way and you can't brush it away but you have time to take off your undies and wrap them around your hair?

The question is, were they Y-fronts?

Felix for Zosia said...

Y do you ask?

But, yeah... I couldn't figure that out either. The explanation was something along the lines of "you might forget a hair tie but you never forget the undies". What do you do if you forget your undies but remember your hair tie???

brandy said...

This is why I refuse to watch tv.

Okay that's a lie. I love tv, but i wanted to try out the role of being a person who never watched tv to see how it felt.

And seriously? Can I just say... what the hell? If you have time to take off your underwear, I think you would have time to search for an elastic/scrunchie.

Jo said...

I wash my face at work.

Felix for Zosia said...

Brandy - I hear you. I refused to watch TV for an entire hour (or maybe even longer) after that. It felt good to be so smug.

Jo, the obvious question to ask would be: "you don't wear underpants to work?" but I know that what you were really saying there was that there is no way in hell you would wear a scrunchie to work. I applaud that. Scrunchies are the tracksuit pants of hair accessories. And that is the other really big problem with the so-called handy hint.