American Woman

AMERICAN WOMAN
What is wrong with the US of A? I think most non-Americans agree that there is something rotten in the state of WalMart, and depending on who you speak to it varies in seriousness. Most people (I think - I know this is the case for me) seem a little perplexed about *why* it is so bad, and exactly *what* the root cause of it all is. Well I don't really have any answers here today, but I do have a little insight into the issues of nutrition and health that are one of the "pieces of pie*" in the country's overall malaise.

We currently have a Random American Nurse (RAN) sleeping on our fold-out couch. More details about her and her randomness in a little bit, but I'll just state now that she has many good qualities as well as a few random ones. Ok, so RAN, NLJ (housemate#1) and I decided to order pizza**. Going through the menu, it transpired that RAN didn't know what celery was. In the time that we have know her (6 days if you discount phone contact) there have been a couple of translation issues that seemed to be all in fun, so I wasn't too nonplussed, and NLJ and I tried to explain what it looked like. Fennel and Celery sound quite similar in description, so when I realised that was what she was thinking of, I said "Celery is that stuff that you put peanut butter in" and she said "OOOHHH - Peanut butter cup! We call that peanut butter cup!". The poor old vegetable is only useful as a container for some greasy, fatty condiment, it doesn't even get its own name. I weep for the future.

Ok, there are two things that put the random into Random American Nurse. The first is that she got the wrong number and accidently texted NLJ instead of a friend of hers. That is the only reason that we know her. The second is that she is an ex-Mormon from Salt Lake City. This provides fodder for some amusing stories (like the first time she tried coffee, she asked for a double esspresso; didn't want to do things by halves). But actually, the most amusing things are to do with her family, and her sister in particular. Her sister came to Australia on a mission, knocked on someone's door to preach the word and he invited her in and fell in love with her. They are engaged. He is a winemaker. He was stoned at the time. The sister has no idea - she thinks that Adelaide has a particular smell, that hangs around their house, but it is the smell of pot. I swear I am not making this up!

More RAN stories to follow in subsequent weeks, I am sure.


*Not terribly funny, but I couldn't help myself.
** Yes, I am aware of the fact that I am gluten intolerant. I was gluten intolerant at the time of the incident, but I was also drunk (see disclaimer on the previous post if you don't believe me) so had left my Better Judgement at the pub.